Comments on: Awake in the Watchtower, Part 1

By: Jill Williamson

Jill Williamson — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:25:35 +0000

After I graduated from high school in 1973 I started having a desire to know about God and started attending different churches. I knew nothing at all about the Bible so when a co-worker who was a Jehovah’s Witness started showing me things from the Bible – I was elated. Now I look back on it and realize that I was completely misled. And like many – I believed that whatever the Society was teaching us had to be truth. They certainly wouldn’t lie to us right? I started to experience doubts and with those doubts came extreme guilt and shame. Long story short – I was a baptized Witness for 25 years – more than 1/2 of that time as a Regular Pioneer. All my friends were Witnesses while none of my family were, so you know that meant that I had very limited only necessary contact with my family and the only people I associated with were the Witnesses. I knew I had to leave and I knew I would lose all my friends and I was so okay with that. I wrote my letter to the Elders and quite literally drove away with a huge sense of relief. The Witnesses don’t let you leave easily though and so for years I had people phoning/writing/visiting me. I continued to write letters to the Elders – I had by then started looking at other churches in the hope that someday I would have a truly joyful, authenitic relationship with God. While the knowledge that I had to leave this organization was very clear to me, the possibility of putting aside 25 years of teachings was not so easy. I had to try and figure out what I felt God was really saying to me and if that meant believing any of the WBTS teachings did that mean I had really left the true organiztion? It’s been over 9 nine years now and I am not going to say it’s always been easy. So now I find myself back where I started years ago – with the same questions I had as a teenager. I will continue my journey because I do believe that God made us to be happy and joyful.

By: Lois Hunter

Lois Hunter — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 21:27:06 +0000

Hello Debbie. I just read your blog. You have a lot of anger in you yet towards the JW’s but you let off a lot of steam with that letter. Good for you! I also was born into the religion and spent the first twenty five years of my life in it. I have horror stories of experiences in school from being one of them. They keep changing the rules of what is right and wrong. It took me many years to get over the worst of the anger. Hang in there it will come. We can’t change our past only our future. I have a daughter that was born in the religion but by the time she was school age we were free and she did not have to suffer like we did.

It sounds like you have a good man, and animals that accept you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. The anger will leave as you learn to live your own life. If you need to write and just vent you can write me at ll2hunter@hotmail.com My mother-in-law and I vent about the WT to each other every so often by e-mail. I send her articles that I find interesting and we discuss them. You are not alone. There are lots of us out there. My family are all JW’s except for my husband, daughter, nephew and mother and sister-in-law. My mother is one but she lets us visit.

All the best!

By: Shani

Shani — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:32:59 +0000

I hear that many of you (as well as the author) still stay in the cult (yes, it is a cult). Why don’t you leave for good? I have and I have absolutely no regrets.

By: Debbie Moore

Debbie Moore — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 01:00:38 +0000

Wanted to add that you can reach me at ladyjeanene@yahoo.com if you wish to write me. If you want to witness to me or try to change my mind about my feelings towards JWs – DO NOT EVEN GO THERE WITH ME> I’ve had a lifetime of it and I am done. If you need encouragement about leaving, I can help with that or if you need a friend who is a Christian and understands depression, I can help with that, too. That’s all!

By: Debbie Moore

Debbie Moore — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:54:11 +0000

Today is July 12, 2010 and July 11, 1975 I was baptized as a Jehovah’s Witness, so that was what 33 years ago? Hmmm-Armageddon was due to come the Fall of 1975. I was 14 years old and we were told that if we were of age of accountability – 12 and up – we were gonna be destroyed if we were not baptized! I did not finish public school but homeschooled myself and had to give up my desire to be a doctor. I was very smart in school and had offers of full med school scholarships if I would stay in school. The WTS frowned on college but by age 16 I was married. Let’s see – bad to go to college but ok to get married that young! How stupid is that? I had 2 kids by age 20 and was divorced by age 23. In fact, almost all the young couples I knew that were married got divorced, too. But in the 1970’s we were so sure the END was right on top of us, so the Society said. My Dad was an Elder all my life until he was asked to step down after he got swindled by the “brothers” and was told he didn’t use a sound mind by trusting his spiritual brothers and investing ALL the money he and several others had into a fraudulent scheme being run by some of the ones he trusted most. He was DEAD soon thereafter, dying on his death certificate because of a CVA or Stroke – but we knew it was brought on by a broken heart. He gave his life in service to the Watchtower Society all his life. They used him at all the Assemblies/Conventions to run the Auditing Departments for Memphis, TN area and MS and AR. His name was Aubrey Guy and my Mom was Darmalene Guy. My brother still lives in Southaven, MS and has been DF for years and considered an Apostate and his name is Greg Guy and I think everyone in MS and TN knows him. I used to be ashamed of him, but no more. I am proud of my little brother because he wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he truly believed in. I was the hypocrit. I stayed in “the truth” until mom died in 2006 on Mothers Day. Then shortly thereafter, I moved across the country. I was judged by what people wrote on FB about me and my “spiritual parents” called me up and accused me of apostasy because of something on FB that had been written while I was recovering from a fall where I had broke both arms and shoulders and had not even been on the computer in months. But they called me and told me I needed to take care of my PROBLEM – THE ONE I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT! AND not to ever call them again because I was an APOSTATE! SO GUESS WHAT? I have left that organization and started researching the WBTS and NOW I do know the REAL TRUTH! THEY ARE LIARS!! They are the Wild Beast! All the things I had thought but always been afraid to mention – fear of losing my family and friends from being DF – turned out to be TRUE! My GUT feeling was right on target. I am not saying I hate everyone who I have known ALL my 49 years of life as a Witness, I truly feel sorry for them and miss them terribly. I am truly depressed and lonely because I never had any friends outside the WTS. I never celebrated anything in my life but I researched all the PAGANISMS that the WTS participates in; only we never knew what those were because we were always right and better than everyone else. We were IN the TRUTH! WHAT A FOOL I WAS TO ALLOW MYSELF TO BE BRAINWASHED, BUT I WAS BORN INTO IT THRU MY FOLKS. I have witnessed so much hypocrisy and lies and I have suffered untold amounts of emotional, mental and spiritual abuse. I was reproved for my own rape by a close relative of my husband. I used to be Debbie BLANKENSHIP. SICKO PERV in that family! SUE ME – I don’t have a dime to my name!! And I should have put that lowlife man in prison YEARS ago. I find it so unfair that my folks have died and my ex’s folks are still alive/so not fair. My folks were such good people and helped so many and Billy’s folks – I loved his Mom, but his Dad was I cannot even say what I know about him. I was sincere in my beliefs and I did think it was the truth for a long time, but I am away from it and I live 1000 miles away from there. My daughter hates JWs because of how she was treated growing up and I don’t blame her. My son is alive despite what he has been through. I am alive, but that’s about all. I am miserable and broke and depressed most of the time. I am mad as hell as the WTS who, by the way, do not claim to be guided by the Holy Spirit. They say that only the ones who wrote the Bible were guided by Holy Spirit. Did yall know that because I always heard different, but they admit they are not guided by Holy Spirit. They just write what they want to and they VOTE on things for the JWs Democratically!!! NEWS TO ME, TOO! They go with what the majority wants to write whether they (Governing Body) agree or not. It’s a toss up literally as to what gets printed in the literature. How much sense does that make when people are living their lives on what THEY SAY FROM HQ of JWs? If everyone only knew!! But so many are afraid to question anything because of fear of being kicked out! Being branded as disfellowshipped or APostate is a JW’s worst nightmare. Oh and one more thing, 5 men on the Governing Body wrote the New World Translation and none of them knew Greek or Hebrew!! How can someone translate a book THAT important if they do not even know the language?? RIGHT, THEY CANNOT! SO, HOW TRUE IS THE NEW WORLD TRANSLATION BE ACCURATELY WRITTEN? IT CAN’T BE! To me, my life has been a lie. I question everything I ever thought was true. My parents are gone and I don’t have them to ask anything about but my Mom said before her death that if the Society asked all JWs to drink Kool-Aid with cyanide, she would. That’s screwed up by anybody’s standards. I am sad now because I do not know what I really believe anymore and I feel like me and my kids were cheated out of so much. Their dad never had anything to do with them after we divorced but I would NEVER have let my kids around his father. Better that we were divorced then but my kids suffered from not having a father. My Dad tried to be there for them but he was gone too soon for all of us. He was only 60 and mom was 65 when they each died 5 years apart. I also am just totally heartbroken that I have lost so much because of this religious CULT! AND I am MAD as HELL about it also. Excuse the language, but I never cussed before this and I am sick of trying to be good always. I served God from fear more than love as a JW. Now I worship out of love and I am closer to Jesus now also. I have learned there are a lot of great people out in the WORLD! And I NEVER could understand WHY a lovong God would Kill people infact, all people, who were not JWs! People are what they are much because of where they were born and nobody has control over that! I ALWAYS questioned that teaching! I have PTSD from the things that happened to me as a Witness. I am also sick. I have lupus, diabetes, have had 3 strokes and kidney cancer, multiple back problems and surgeries and the list just gets longer. I have 3 granddaughters and I don’t get to see them much because my daughter holds so much against me from raising her as a JW. She left at a young age. I write to cope with all my stress and depression. I have a good man who is Catholic after 2 loser husbands that were JWs. If you are reading this and still going to the Kingdom Hall, do yourself a favor and do your own RESEARCH and THINK FOR YOURSELF, INDEPENDENT THINKING is not a sin – how else are you gonna test God out for yourself like the REAL BIBLE says to do. And remember a scripture we all have heard thousands of times – GET OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SHARE IN HER FATE! THINK ABOUT IT – MAYBE IT SHOULD BE APPLIED NOW AND TO YOU WHO THINK YOU HAVE THE TRUE RELIGION! Am I DF’D? IDK cos IDCare! I do have 2 wonderful dogs that love me no matter what. They are Rowdy and Oreo. They don’t judge me and they love me unconditionally. And by the way, going into a church does not mean the walls will fall in on top of you! And there ARE good people who love God and Jesus and their families as much as JWs do, only they don’t turn their back on them if they change their religion and act like they are the Devil himself. Why am I writing this? Not sure, but it seems to help me cope because I meet others like me and I don’t feel so alone. It is hard to change your entire life at this age, but I will never go back and I do not regret leaving. I just wish I had done it sooner. By Debbie Guy (Blankenship) Moore

By: Jen O'H

Jen O'H — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 03:47:22 +0000

Wonderful article! I was raised as a JW and left at 16. Basically, I was ready to leave home like my two older brothers already had to get out of the madness. My eldest brother was announced as a “disapproved associate” and shunned from the congregation at 16, even though he was NEVER baptized. I love that JW’s claim that the term “disapproved associate” never existed. Yeah, right, the memory is etched in my mind. And what did he do, you ask? He kissed a girl and wouldn’t “repent”! I laugh at the absurdity of it to this day. I’ve never seen such flagrant abuse of power. I have been through years of counseling from my own experiences, which constituted psychological abuse from the elder body. Once my oldest brother was “marked”, apparently, so were all of us younger kids.

To answer Marius, I believe you will get a variety of answers from former JW’s because the road to recovery can be quite long, even decades, from this “religion”. As is common with any exit from any cult, victims tend to have little trust in their own judgement after having been so completely bamboozled by their keepers. Seen in this light, it would be expected that many would follow the path out to an eventual Atheist. I am Agnostic, but by way of doing over a decade and a half of in depth religious studies. I do not entirely doubt the existence of a God, but having put the Bible in true historical context, I take it as the understandings of little more than Bronze Age men in their quest for personal signifigance, as would be expected of this time period. I do not find anything mystical or miraculous within the Scriptures when always balanced by peer reviewed research. However, I have found my greatest spiritual connection to the universe by remaining open to the infinite possibilities. Being in the always humble state of “without knowledge” allows me the greatest freedom to explore every avenue, without prejudice, without malice and without the presumption of an answer. I have been set free, truly, by JW’s because without their presumption, arrogance and self righteousness, I would never have begun such a spiritual journey that, I hope, lasts at least as long as my lifetime. I am totally able to separate the organization from the religion, which allows me to differentiate theological problems from organizational ones. The JW’s have some serious theological problems, and always have had over the years, but the 1914 was a real whopper, as is their heavy usage of the book of Revelations for the Paradise. On an organizational level, they have always been plagued by power hungry men, perhaps that had little power in their secular world (just reasonable speculating), but nonetheless have taken whole congregations hostage with tyranny, competition, and other negative management styles. Children have suffered the most, which I feel is made evident by the 2007 Pew Forum Research statisitcs. In all the religions polled, JW’s have the worst retention of children. I believe it was only 37% remained as JW’s, which is dismally low.

OK, so I could write a book! LOL, sorry about that!

By: Tiki

Tiki — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 14:13:37 +0000

Isn’t it amazing how nerve-wracked the whole Witness experience leaves you. The tentacles are amazingly difficult to unwrap from around you…and it is a process that takes time. But seriously, anything that causes so much tension and grief cannot possibly be right. If God is a “happy God” as we were indoctrinated with…then why does his alleged “true religion” cause so much misery? I have come to the conclusion that “true religion” is nothing more than an oxymoron.

By: jam

jam — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:00:07 +0000

kay after reading your heartfelt story maybe there is hope for my family. Hopefully others may question the WT teaching..What effect will the change of
doctrine (what is a generation) have on the RF. The new light reveal the
possibility of growing old in this system. The paradise earth and never grow old
is a very inviting message the reason many became apart of the borg. It became
clear to you the real possibility of living out your adult life in this system.
Hopefully others may see the light.

By: eric allen

eric allen — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:09:24 +0000

Hello Kay,

Good to hear your story. My wife & I have been JW’s for nearly 40 years. We have 8 wonderful children. 5 grandchildren. Six of our children are very much active. I was an elder for many years. Stepped down by choice. Could not in good conscience continue to dispense ‘koolaid’ to the friends from the podium. Currently serving as MS only to keep up good appearance. Both my wife & I are like you and your husband in having serious doubts about the organization. Currently we are flying below the radar, so to speak. Again, thank you for your story. It is reassuring to know that many are having the same well founded doubts toward the organization as we. Wish you well.

By: Albert Diaz

Albert Diaz — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:29:45 +0000

RUSSELL HATED “ALL” ORGANIZED RELIGIONS AND SAID WE ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO CALL OURSELVES ANY NAMES

READ “STUDIES ON THE SCRIPTURES” http://www.bibletoday.com
you can buy the set for $12.00/ USA dollar
it’s the best money any JW can ever spend!!! TRUST ME!!!