An insider’s look at the organization
My name is Kay, I’m 33 years old and I am a Jehovah’s Witness — well, technically anyway. I am part of the growing number of JWs that some like to refer to as the “conscious class”.
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness in a zealous household. My father was an elder; my brothers are now elders and all of them have served at Bethel. We were the kind of family that was always on the assembly platform and held up as an example (yeah, one of those families). Although I had the usual teenage thoughts of rebellion, I left school in the early 1990s, took a part-time job and pioneered (Armageddon was so close by now that it was foolhardy to consider buying green bananas, much less go to college).
A few short years later we received “new light” on the “generation of 1914”. Although I was busy with boyfriends and life plans at the time, I secretly felt a little cheated and foolish. I had stood on many a doorstep and sincerely shown to people why this system could not last more than a few short years because the generation of 1914 would soon pass away. For the first time, I contemplated the real possibility of living out my adult life in this system.
I met a brother (that sounds so weird — who wants to marry their brother?) and we got married. My husband was from a divided household and had quite a different outlook to mine, which challenged me, in a good way. In many respects, his upbringing was more balanced than mine, having at least one parent “in the world”. We put off having children — Armageddon had to be so close. A few years passed and we saw our opportunity to have a family slipping by. I didn’t want to find myself aging in this system having missed the boat, so to speak, so we chose to start a family.
Having children shifts your perspective and also gives you little time for listening at congregation meetings! In hindsight, I think this lessened the influence of “the truth” on my mental processes. Ironically, it was during an effort to do more study as the children got a little older that the bomb dropped that shook my world. As part of my meeting preparation I Googled “Jerusalem 607” — to my surprise, I could not find any references from Wikipedia or other such sites. The only links appearing were Witness related; fearing I would stumble upon apostate material, I avoided further research but was deeply troubled. I managed to establish that the general consensus was that Jerusalem was destroyed in 586/587 BC.
Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I ventured onto a much feared “apostate forum”. My heart was racing and I was convinced (although I now realize how ridiculous this is) that I would come under some sort of demon attack! As I read, I felt angry and scared. I had always thought of apostates as bitter individuals who couldn’t meet Jehovah’s standards and made up lies about us. Now I realized that the truth was on their side whilst “the truth” I had grown up with was anything but.
I read avidly for a few weeks, then plucked up the courage to order a book I had seen being discussed and recommended. It was Combating Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan and I was completely blown away by it. I managed to do most of my reading at work and struggled with how to broach the subject with my husband. I decided to seek professional counseling to help me work through my anger and fear.
One evening I sat down with him, and I was physically shaking. We have a good relationship and have generally communicated well during our 13 years of marriage. This was the hardest thing I had ever done. I read some excerpts from Hassan’s book and asked if any of it sounded familiar. We had a discussion that went on for hours, way into the night. When we finally went to bed, he was sobbing in his sleep and shouting my name out. I realized what I was up against — the Watch Tower reaches deep into the heart of a person and holds their soul hostage. During the following weeks, we had many emotionally charged conversations, and my husband kept repeating the same “thought stopping” phrases which I recognized from Hassan’s book. Amongst them were “It has to be God’s organization” and “I refuse to believe God has no purpose.” He confessed that he wanted to throw Hassan’s book in the fire.
We both became tired of the fight and decided to call a mutual unspoken truce. I continued to attend the meetings with my husband (albeit irregularly) and tried to let him see it for himself. Once you have exposed the cult-like behaviors and fallacies of the Watch Tower’s teachings, it’s hard not to see them. After a few months, we were able to discuss things more rationally and objectively, and I realized that the book that would really help my husband, if I could get him to read it, was Captives of a Concept by Don Cameron. I had bought the book myself and was impressed by the clear, concise and yet brief way it refuted the Watch Tower’s claim to be “God’s chosen organization”. Eventually his phobia of apostate material dissipated sufficiently to allow him to read the book. He admitted it made some valid points.
Being an avid reader, I had bought and read a number of books, both by ex-witnesses and psychologists. Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz had confirmed to me that the organization was as corrupt and misguided at the top as it was on the congregation level (something that had always been painfully obvious to me as an elder’s daughter). I knew that if my husband read Ray’s book, he would be deeply affected by it. Over a period of a few months, he read it a bit at a time, then seemed to spend some time reflecting upon it. I let him approach me to talk, and all the time we were still attending meetings. Today, around a year after our first discussion, he is fully cognizant of the organization’s cult like mode of operation and is fully able to think for himself.
We are both still Jehovah’s Witnesses. There are many others in the same position. Why? I’ll answer that question in my next installment.
Popularity: 58%
September 28th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Thank you Kay. The 607 “bomb” shook my world too about 6 or 7 years ago. I found Carl Olaf Johnson’s “Gentile Times Reconsidered” amazing at documenting the many lines of evidence supporting the 586/587 date. Most disturbing was the fact that he sent this info to the Governing Body way back in 1977 and ended up disfellowshipped for his effort.
I too am “technically” still a JW but I now refuse to go the meetings because it drives me crazy every time I hear “God’ organization” or the “faithful slave”. My wife is inactive as well but says she will never read anything that may challenge her belief that this is “the truth”. Thankfully I am able to freely express myself to her.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Thank you for your article. I love the phrase ‘conscious class’ and my hope is that it swells in number. I look forward to your next installment.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Thank you for writing your story Kay. You are a brave soul and no doubt your story will be an inspiration to many. A huge well done on the way you were able to help your significant other see the man behind the curtain. It’s a tough journey out but worth the pain.
September 29th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Hi Kay. I’m so thrilled that JWRECOVERY is up and running and want to thank contributors like yourself. What you said “Once you have exposed the cult-like behaviors and fallacies of the Watch Tower’s teachings, it’s hard not to see them” is so very true. I still have family in, most of which won’t speak to me as I have been disfellowshipped and the one or two that do, cannot see this faith as a cult.
September 29th, 2009 at 8:11 am
I think with us witnesses, we have been made to feel guilty about recognizing discrepancies, we like no other people on earth are sensitive to right and “wrong”, yet within our organization wrong seems to be something that only the average publisher is capable of. The hiearchy from elders up, only make “mistakes” because of their “failings” and “weakness” as imperfect humans. Errors in dates, and doctrinal changes that have caused many to feel dissapointed, disillusioned, and well within their rights as ‘imperfect humans’ with feelings, are discounted, as showing lack of faith, or attribited to some underlying leaning toward what is bad. It is very hurtful and damaging to see this double standard played out again and again with all the other challenges, and hardships in this world.
What if they were in competition with a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses that did not have any human hiearchy, and the egregious pass failures miss fires, that we spend so much time defending. Where worship was not a structured lesson plan, not done out of fear of man, where there was no accounting for ones “time” used as a meter to ones spirituality. With all the solidly rooted truths Jesus and the apostles taught about without interpretation. Just God’s word as it is. Regularly reviewed together. In the answer to the question “Where would we go?” surely THERE!
September 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Hi Key
thank very much for yr experience..know that there are other as me that they know the truth on the WTS ,,i feel encouraged.. . I cannot go away, because my family is inside and them are blindly believes. I am alone. I cannot talk to them,.
bye Marco from italy
September 29th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Thanks for all your comments, I’m glad my story has given hope to others in the same position.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Love your story kay, thank you. I’ve been ‘conscious’ for about 8 months. I’m d a’d. Shunned by my family who are jw’s. I’m about to embark on a mailing campaign in my village in south wales uk. When the ‘penny dropped’ after reading ray franz’s books i couldn’t stomach even looking at a wt magazine. Try your best to reach those in the halls, you’ll have no chance when your found out.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I can so easily relate to your story and the time that elapsed before you realized the “real truth.” It’s not easy to undo years of brainwashing and you can’t do it overnight. I managed to fade away about five years ago and I have never been happier. At first, I felt depressed and even angry about all the years I wasted in the Watchtower religion, but even that has faded and I give thanks that I am finally free from that cult. Fortunately, every single member of my family has left the Watchtower too, so I am fortunate that I am not burdened with the harshness of shunning by those I love. I did lose all my friends but I have made new friends whom I cherish. Shunning is such an evil practice developed solely to protect the Watchtower from outside influence with a secondary goal of punishing the one who is disfellowshipped.
September 30th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I have just discovered your website. I saw it mentioned in a blog on the “watchers” web site.
Still reading the magazine online but just wanted to let you know that I think it is great. Congratulations on getting it running! I hope it continues on and I will spread the word.
I am not of the “conscious class.” I and my husband and child (at that time) left back in 1975. I was born and raised a JW but always had doubts about the teachings and was afraid to ask questions. If I did I had to be careful how they were worded and to whom I spoke.
My husband send out a lengthy article entitled “Did Christ Return in 1914?” It caused quite a stir at that time.
We were on our way to a convention along with other cars from the congregation and he mentioned to me what I thought if there were more people going to heaven than just 144,000 and that other comments. I told him I had no problem with that. We got to taking and it soon became clear that he had doubts about the witnesses but was hesitant to speak to me because he did not know if I would turn him in to the elders.
Within minutes I felt a load lifted off my shoulders and I said that I had always had doubts about the JW’s having “The Truth.” I told him that we should leave right now that instant. Just turn the car around, the other JW’s were behind us, and we could wave and say, “Bye, we quit!” He said that we needed to discuss things more before making a decision. My decision was already made and so was his but he did not want to act until he had his ducks in a row.
The time really dragged more than usual at that assembly. My mind was elsewhere. Time passed and another assembly came due. My husband was in Washington state and I was home in Montana. We paid for a cheap room for the weekend to attend the assembly. Our daughter and I spent the night in the room and the next day I picked him up at the airport where the assembly was being held. We did not attend any of it, we just drove home feeling free and elated.
It was announced to the congregation some time later that we were disfellowshipped. His crime was writing the letter and mine for backing him up when I alone attended the meeting. He had sent in a resignation letter a week earlier and I sent mine the day after the meeting. Somehow they did not notify the Society because years later my sister called them to see if I was disfellowshipped and was told no. Of course we had formally left anyway so we did not feel that they could kick us out of an organization that we did not belong to anyway.
My family is still involved with the Organization. My father before he died had somewhat left and always questioned things that got him into hot water many times. My brother was kicked out. My mother and sister are still in it. My mother lets me visit her every week. My sister does not talk to me unless she has to.
Anyway, that is my story in a nutshell. It felt good to share. Thanks
October 3rd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Excellent article! The story of you approaching your husband sounds very much like what my husband did with me. He came to me with his feelings and I couldn’t bear it! I was numb for what felt like months. But slowly I have been starting to do my own research and now I don’t know where to go from here.
I can’t wait to read part 2. How can you reconcile your beliefs while still being in the organization? I’m curious to find out!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:59 am
isn’t it ironic that we’re warned about looking online because we might stumble upon ‘apostate’ material; terrible, terrible suff, and what we really stumble upon is the (real) truth? and countless, gentle, intelligent, peaceful and loving people who can genuinely help us in our persuit of a life based on personal conscience? thank you so much for sharing.
i will never go back…i cannot even believe i was alseep all my life; wasted so many years thinking unbelievable things were true and being so scared (and, shamefully, sometimes even a bit smug- that i was on the ‘winning team’ or something, feeling special). i have read ‘crisis of conscience’ which is great for revealing the fallibility of the governing body (it’s quite shocking and i did have to put it down for intervals to process information i had read), but honestly; i found the kind and caring wisdom of richard dawkins in ‘the god delusion’ to be the real kicker. read it if you are ready to challenge belief itself (not just your JW beliefs) because what he says makes so much sense…so much. and you can tell he really cares about people and about truth; which is more than i can say about many witnesses i know. for that matter, read anything and everything you can get your hands on, because the more you read the more you realise that no ONE thing you read has all the answers; no one thing ever will and none should; what you learn is that the world is full of information and with research and careful and open minded thought, you can make up your own mind what is ‘the truth’ about the world. what i have learned most of all is this: no idea that is true is afraid of being challenged because nothing can challenge it; it is folly to choose to think one thing, then refuse to read or watch or listen to anything that will challenge it, it’s folly, it’s ignorance. i dont intend on being ignorant again. i am going to try to go to university next year (that’s another thing; i feel so disadvantaged. my own parents and my community discouraged me from getting an education. i feel robbed) and i just want to swim in books and new ideas; i feel like my mind is a new bird…thank you again for sharing; i particularly like these stories where people were freed through reading…we were trapped by words on a page and we can also be freed by them!
October 4th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Excellent site – saw it mentioned on Freeminds. More people need to hear about you!
October 5th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Thanks for the book recommendation. I have read Crisis of Conscience, and Hassan’s book and they are both an eye opener. I remember shuttering at the thought of reading anything “apostate”, but Mr. Franz so well explained and discussed his experience in Bethel, that I could not get myself to think that he was ever there to hurt the Organization, but was very sincere in his quest for truth.
Thanks for posting your experience Kay.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
From the day that we are born our minds begin to form a model of reality that we regard as ‘the truth’. This model is built from ideas, concepts and beliefs, often passed down from others, about the world that we hold to be true.
The older we get the more rigid this model becomes and the more we cling to it. The more we cling to our rigid mind made models of reality – our own little bubble – the more suffering that is caused when this model is questioned or when it doesn’t fit with and comes into conflict with the absolute reality that exists beyond our minds – when the bubble is popped. It literally is like tearing the ground from underneath us, which we had thought of as so solid all along. It turns out it cannot be relied upon. Suddenly the world in which we find ourselves is uncertain and we are brought face to face with the unknown. The human mind wants to know – the unknown frightens us.
However, does the uknown have to frighten us? After all, is that which we call ‘God’ not really the unknown? Maybe letting go of our mind-made models of reality, our ideas and beliefs, and embracing the unknown is the first step in re-discovering our true relationship with ‘God’ and with ourselves, since our own true nature exists beyond word, thought, language, beyond concept, beyond belief, beyond our mind-made models of reality. One with the unknown. Only we as individuals can find the truth, the reality, ourselves as only we are directly connected to it in the present moment. Only we can see it for ourselves.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
i can relate to every single thing u wrote my father was an elder while i was growing up as well. the truth is im still in denial. i think armagedon might still come n i will b wrong. i dont know i simply dont know im still going to the meetings but i hardly go out to prech because, what am i going to say? good morning,i am not sure this is what i believe but i want u to believe it? im looking forward to reading more about ur story
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
You are a hero Im like in that same “concious class” your in. Imglad you see the keep up the good work.
October 28th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Thanks for the article. This is my first time to this blog. Very good and I look forward to more such items.
October 31st, 2009 at 11:57 am
Thanks Kay. Well written account. Looking forward to the next installment.
October 31st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Thanks a lot Kay !Russians ex-JW members with you!
November 10th, 2009 at 8:08 am
I would like to ask all the Ex-JWs if they are really free. The reason for this question is two fold. Firstly most Ex-Jws I see on these types of websites confess either to be “non believers” or atheists, the latter of which can not be empirically proven as one does not know enough to be able to Know that God does not exist. The non believers as I call them does not believe that the WT organization is Gods directed organization on earth, but holds to many WTO doctrines. What then are they Free of as they still holds to these doctrines. They usually say “well the WT organization isn’t all bad they have some truths about the bible” or “I have a problem with the WT organization not with what they teach, because their doctrine of the trinity, hell and death is correct”. You see my friends this is exactly what I am talking about. Are they really free? It is easy to sit and blame the WTO organization for everything that has happened to you, but are U allowing the WTO to rule your life even after you have left? Is your idea about God or the lack of God formed in the doctrines of the WT organization?
I want to challenge Ex JWs to post a story of how he/she has been completely set free.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:30 am
Hello all, Kay I can appreciate your story, I am 38 years old and was born into the “organization”, I was disfelloshiped about 8 years ago, at the time i was devastated, I had just moved to a new city, I was recently divorsed form a so called JW, since then I have come to realiza that I am happier now, unforchanatly I do not have an imediate family other than my non witness relatives and my current loving wife, My mother,father,brother and sister have all abandoned me, but at least I feel free in the sense that Im no longer ruled by the constant guilt that I can do more for an organization and my brohers and sisters who in acuality are mostly hipoctites, I spent a great deal of time climing the JW ladder, trying to be a good servant any way I could, going to many quick builds, and going way out of my way to help others, some of whom I later realized were just using me… For Marius, as an EX-JW for my part I cannot truly be free from the JW’s due to my familys ties to the JW organization, but as for me myself, Yes I do feel I am free from JW organization, Im using my God given mind to direct me in a way that I feel is in conjuction with the way God intended for me to be.
Thanks for this site, and the freedom to express myself, as i clear my mind i wil chime in if allowd to..
A.G.
November 26th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I enjoyed reading your experience… the 607 BC thing is from so-called “worldly” sources… I have the actual “Proof” paper proving 607 BC as the accurate date for the start of the Gentle Times …meaning that 1914 is the correct date for the “end of the Gentile Times” Anyone interested in reading it can obtaian a copy by sending a request to my email address.
December 6th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Thank you Kay. I posted your link on backpage.com under “religion” Everyone please feel free to join the discussion. There are 3 JW on there, plus some Christians and Atheists trying to point out the history of cult practices and abuses that they feel content to blame on the victims for being apostates.
Kay, the books I am giving for free to any ministry seeking to reconcile between JW and other Christian denominations are “Healing” by Francis MacNutt (edition 1999 or later) and “The Healing Light” by Agnes Sanford. If you and your husband want free copies please email me at emilynghiem@hotmail.com Should be required reading and/or teaching if any denomination is opposed to certain medical procedures (not just JW but also Pentecost, Scientologists, Christian Scientists)
December 14th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
there are many examples where the witness theology just doesn’t match up with historical data. Of course the brothers will simply say that scriptural truth supercededs science and secular history or that the light will get brighter. Central points of belief/like Jerusalem getting destroyed in 607 BC or 1914…or the remnant of the 144,000 still alive…..these are things that will not shake the belief structure of the indoctrinated/for they are in too deeply and blinded by the minds of the governing body. It is very interesting to read the experiences that Kay details here….my question would be….why are U still a witness/once U come to an understanding that the “truth” is not…why stay in that situation….it seems to me that deprogramming yourself and then moving away from the basic witness theology would be the only way to successfully heal…..or am I missing something?
December 19th, 2009 at 6:45 am
I belive that deep in your heart you want to forget and the truth is once you learn truth it’s hard to forget as much stories you could say to make your self fell better you know deep in your heart what it is
December 31st, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I really don’t know where to begin….I have 50 yrs of torment. I just turned 50. Born and never having gone to a school dance, prom…not being allowed to associate with cousins and Aunts and Uncles who weren’t witnesses. I never celebrated my birthday with family or friends. I have seen so many times where others in the congregation were miss treated or miss handled. Families broken apart by children being disfellowshiped. I have felt in my soul that the examples of True Christianity were often seen through my eyes as those who were in other christian religions. I have lived through 2 horrible disfellowshippings of my own. The first I could write a book about…….the horror of how they could treat me a fellow human and witness. All because “they couldn’t be wrong, WE have Jehovah’s holy spirit in their guiding us.” Finally they were removed and on disfellowshipped also. I just recently within weeks went 9 months without a person talking to me…….alone, lonely and faithful to the organizations wishes to crawl and beg to let me back in. Oh, how they made me wait for any morsel of human contact. Only to have to wait another month and a half to re-meet with them to see if they could let me come back. Remember too Dave you have offended the brothers for not listening to our counsel….What? I thought I had Offended Jehovah…..it is because I offended you that I am out and loosing out on life. Am I going to be any more righteous with god in 45 more days than I am now waiting 9 months…..If I came down with cancer right this minute ….I could go anywhere to receive help, love and support. But with Jehovah’s Witnesses the “sicker” you are the more isolated you must be. I know that Jesus couldn’t have wanted this for his people. Isolation, shunning and torment. I have volumes of hurt stored up in me. I have volumes of evidences of inhumane non christian and just not human ways people have been treated. I am free, I am free, I am so free now to love, help, encourage and up build MY NEIGHBORS now. If you are struggling like I have and you have only read a little bit as to the torment I have been through, I would be glad to hear from you. I am going to try to help as many people as I can. We all have very close stories to share. Contact me at Piacere8459@hotmail.com You won’t be struck down like I believed for so long if I talked to a psychiatrist about what I was feeling. You won’t be struck down by lightening if you walked into a christian church and see real people not dressed in suites….loving Jesus and Jehovah just like us. You won’t hear Jehovah curse people because they have their hands raised in the air in song. Have you ever wondered what would happen to you if you raised your hands in song at the Kingdom Hall. I cried so many tears when I saw people singing at a christian church and asked Jehovah while I was in the my seat….How could you and Jesus want to destroy people who use your name and try to live by your word? These people are like me….trying. So much more…..contact me if you are feeling any of these things……don’t be like me and wish you hadn’t wasted 50 yrs judging others. David
January 6th, 2010 at 7:34 am
I too, am very dissapointed with the Watchtower Society as a whole. I was raised a Witness in the Midwest and still am associated with it due to family and friends. I have seen many hurt unnecessarly by men who call themselves Elders and I have been disheartened by the cruelty. Once I started looking at this organization from “outside the box” so to speak, I found many areas of concern. I still believe in the basics but do not believe all I am told. Do I believe that this organization is run by holy spirit directly from God? No I do not. Christmas, Easter, Halloween are all holidays that clearly have pagan pasts. This I believe the Society has totally correct. Not going to war is another issue I believe they have correct. The trinity is falas and Jesus is a separate being I beleive is totally correct. I do question the 1914 date so their time table to me is off center. Do I beleive that 144,000 annointed only come from this organization? No I do not. Life on earth or heaven? Who cares! Im sure Jehovah will make it wonderful either way. What has me so screwed up is that I do not believe these and other things and I can not ask a single soul about it or risk getting kicked out for apostasy. I lose all I have. I was brought up a witness so that is all I have (friends and family). Some of the questions I have point at possible misconduct of those in charge.
Such as, where is all the money that came from the insurance funds paid for the construction efforts of so many? They ask of us to give of ourselves but then when Insurance is paid, brothers are not reimbursed for their labor. There were MILLIONS made off this work! Why do assembly halls built by the brothers and paid for by the brothers are then rented back to each circuit at higher than normal costs? ( Almost $10,000 for a weekend ). A building we did not build or pay for can be rented to us for much less! Why is the food at the proper time only distributed to us from 9 annointed men and not from the 6,000 or so that are still left on the earth today. Aren’t they all, the remnant of annointed and responsible as a whole for this? These thousands of others are not even consulted! Why is it that politics are played in this organization and they allow this to continue? Are they too stupid to see it themselves? Is it run by holy spirit? I dont think the holy spirit would operate this way. Why does the Society spend so much time telling us that Jehovah will take care of our own issues and not to worry about it but trust in Jehovah when they themselves can not follow the same advice. There are many times brothers have recordings or video proof of situations and the Elders will not look at it for fear of some kind of lawsuit. It seems to me that when there is a possible lawsuit, then they are allowing fear of man to be put in front of what is right by Jehovah.
Why were we instructed to put all our contributions for hurricane relief into the World Wide Work contribution box and not in a separate account? Why does not the Society publish an accounting of their construction projects? Amount of costs and amounts received. I could go on and on with more but it has put serious doubts in my mind and I can not ask anyone about it for fear of being torn away from my family. This is not right. If they were so concerned for the sheep they would put their arms around me and say, “My Brother, it is this way or that.” Explain things to me so that I understand. Instead I would be ripped apart as an apostate. I am torn inwardly. Its like a scream I can not let out. My wife is a faithful follower and hates it when I question anything. I can not even talk to her. I am trapped in this organization with no way out.
January 6th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Mike Stone?You asked a lot of Questions???I just today read your cry?But are you able to cry to heavenly Father like Jesus did in Garden of Getsemanie?Are you able to have contrite heart and beg on your knies?like Jesus did?Beg on your knies for your own salvation???!none of all peoples around whole world!or churches or any kind of brotherhoods in the whole world is going to show us a path of Holy Truth!!If you are not born again by the Holy Spirit! you are not going to see Kingdom of God!All kind of corruptions are all over and all over!and again and again.Holy Bible is a earthly stories with spiritual meanings in our time, the Time of End.Everything what Jesus teached or teach today is in parables for those who are HIS spiritual sons and belong to Heaven everything is clear!that whole Bible have spiritual meanings from the beginning to the End !same Revelation is written by Jesus who spoke in parables,144.000 is not literal number like great crowd without of number before the Gods throne?If you love Jehowa(Jesus)you as a head of your family have responsibility to approach before your wife and your family and with deep cry to Almighty God on your knies beg from your contrite heart for underserved kindness and mercy to open your eyes and eyes of your family!and I am sure you will find joy and happines and HIS HOLY SPIRIT and with all those marvelous glories you will know the truth and the truth will set you free!! from all kind of Brooklyn lies or all kind of Churches doctrines!!!!Today Almighty God JEHOWA(JESUS)building Spiritual Church without of any assiociations clugs or churches, or JW from Brookly NY.USA.,or all kind religion organizations!
I was over 30 years JW and as a German-Polish suffered a lot of persecutions,I stil am HIS WITNESS but not a Witness of Brooklyn NY. SHEPPERDS OF BROOKLYN. NY.USA!! BETRAYED GODS FLOCK-FOR OVER 10 YEARS AS A MEMBERS OF UNO!! BROOKLYN TOOK ON HIS ARMS MARK OF BEAST MARK OF ABNOMINATION AND DESOLATION BECAUSE IN SECRET BELONG TO UNO UNDER(NGO-so call Nongoverment Organisation)because of money!! HOLY SPIRIT!! JESUS AND HIS WORD IS IN THE BIBLE! AND HIS SALVATION IS CLOSER AS ANYBODY CAN EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS!!PLEASE!! DO,NT BE LEFT BEHIND WITH YOUR FAMILY!!!! JUST CLICK YOUR COMPUTER PRAY!! BEG!! OUR ALMIGHTY FATHER! AND SEARCH FOR ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!
JUST CLICK ON GOOGLE familyradio.com or name HAROLD CAMPING-and after looking for this write me e-mail.
My e-mail is: bobby59npr@yahoo.com
MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU IN YOUR SPIRITUAL STRUGLES!!!!
January 6th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
THIS LETTER WHICH I WROTE ABOVE! MAYBE IS NOT SO CLEAR! PLEASE!! READ THIS LETTER WRITTEN ABOVE A COUPLE OF TIMES AND ALL OF YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY MEANING!! I AM NOT BORN AMERICAN AND MAYBE MY GRAMATIC IS BAD! ANYWAY I BELIEVE!?THAT ALL OF YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY THINKING! I AM A PERSON WHO IS A MEMEBER BELONGING TO THE ETERNAL CHURCH (SPIRITUAL CHURCH) ON THE EARTH AS HIS WITNESS BUT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ORGANISATION CONNECTED TO THE BROOKLYN NY.USA
I LEARNED ABSOLUTE TRUTH FROM THE BIBLE AND FROM OUR LORD JESUS AND AM FREE!! AND AFTER OVER 30 YEARS I LEFT BROOKLYN TEACHINGS-GROUP OF CORRUPTIONS AND NOT REALITY OF BIBLE TRUTHS!
January 7th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Looks like a good site to get connected with fellow honest hearted ones. Anyone in Louisiana?
January 21st, 2010 at 3:46 am
Hello my fellow FORMER JW. I’ve enjoyed hearing your comments and personal stories. I was born and raised as a JW and got baptized in 1962. So I’ve been associated with the Organization for most of my life. I left on account of doctrine in 1998. (So no, I am no longer *inside* the Org.)
I discovered that the WT Society believed and taught that Christ returned (to the earth) invisibly in 1874. They taught this as late as 1929. (though some would say longer) If they were teaching this false doctrine as long as this, all the while claiming that they were “God’s Mouthpiece” and “God’s Channel of commmunication for mankind, while claiming that the Organization is “The Truth”,
then how can the “Faithful Slave” claim NOW, that Christ returned in 1914 and in 1918 chose the WT Society as the ONLY Christian group FOUND FAITHFUL AND DISCREET?
The Scriptures makes it very [VERY] clear that when Christ COMES or RETURNS, it is THEN that he COMMENDS his disciples, and PUTS THEM IN CHARGE OF ALL OF HIS BELONGINGS. Well if Christ returned in 1874, what DID HE SAY to the members of the WT Society? And (or) IF he returned in 1914, did he REALLY? find them “faithful and DISCREET? Did he REALLY, COMMEND THEM and did he REALLY put the WT Society anointed IN CHARGE of all of his belongings?
Oh yeah? Did he REALLY? If so, what did he ACTUALLY SAY? And TO WHOM? To WHICH MEN? What were their names? And what were his exact WORDS?
But NOW, the “Faithful slave” teaches that Christ DID NOT ACTUALLY RETURN but that he only “TOOK HIS POWER” to reign as King of the Kingdom. And some JW claim that Christ WILL NEVER RETURN TO THIS EARTH, but that the “anointed” go up to him to meet him in heaven.
But is the way the “Faithful Slave” teaches NOW about Christ’s RETURN, actually SCRIPTURAL?
So SINCE they NOW teach THIS, then HOW CAN THEY CLAIM ANY AUTHORITY? Since Christ HAS YET TO RETURN (COME) and still HAS YET to COMMEND his disciples and to YET put the ones faithfully WAITING for him IN CHARGE OF ALL HIS KINGDOM INTERESTS?
All Jehovah’s Witnesses NEED to re-examine ALL THE WORDS THAT CHRIST SAID. (And put what HE TAUGHT above what the “Faithful Slave” says OR CLAIMS.)
Jehovah said: “This is my Son, LISTEN TO HIM”. Jesus said that he was going TO RETURN. (HE IS COMING) The Scriptures says that he is going to COME: RETURN, and Christ himself told his disciples that his RETURN was going to be AT A TIME NO ONE WOULD KNOW, and he told his disciples to be FOUND AWAKE AND READY when he COMES. (When Christ REVEALS himself)
“And when the Chief Shepherd APPEARS, you will receive the unfading crown of glory” 2 Peter 5:4 …Colossians 3:4 … 2 Timothy 4:1 … 1 Thessalonians 2:19.. 1 Thess. 3:13… 1 Thess. 5:23 … 2 Thess. 1:7-10 ..2 Thess. 2:1 …
Again, the question a person needs to ask is this:
In 1914-1929, would Jesus have FOUND the Watchtower Society REALLY teaching “the truth” concerning 1874? Would he have been pleased with the Society if he found that they were teaching that HE HAD ALREADY RETURNED IN 1874?) Would he have commended them and said “well done faithful steward” or faithful slave? And seeing that they were teaching a FALSE DOCTRINE by their claiming that he HAD returned in 1874, would he have CONSIDERED THEM DISCREET, put them in charge of all his kingdokm interests?
So the only conclusion I could settle on is this:
The Scriptures show that Christ had ALREADY been given the kINGDOM when he went up to present his sacrifice before God after his resurrection.
Peter said this about Christ:
“Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels AND AUTHORITIES AND POWERS being made subject to him.” 1 Peter 3:22
Jesus said:
“”…”All POWER is given unto me in heaven and in earth.” Matthew 28:18
So Christ did not have to wait until 1874, or 1914 in order to receive all power and authority. What we are waiting for is for him to COME; RETURN.
Jesus said:
“When the Son of Man SHALL COME in his glory, and all the holy angels with him THEN shall he sit on THE THRONE of HIS GLORY. And before him shall be gathered all nations; and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats.” Matthew 25:31-32
What “throne” was Jesus given?
The angel Gabriel said that it was “the throne of his father, David”. See Luke 1:27-33
So I believe that Jesus is indeed COMING, to judge and to reign ON the earth “in the midst of his enemies”.
I feel so stupid because I hadn’t EXAMINED our own JW religion a lot earlier, the way we were advising OTHERS at the doors to do!
Another WARNING which I had ignored was when we heard instructions given by the “Faithful Slave” through the elders, which was:
“All right brothers, NO INDEPENDENT THINKING”. Well, if we couldn’t have INDEPENDENT thinking, then we were commanded to have DEPENDENT THINKING. Meaning that we WERE NOT ALLOWED TO THINK FOR OURSELVES. Yet the apostle Paul commended the Borean Christians for their “independent thinking” because they did not just accept what Paul and the other disciples were teaching without FIRST EXAMINING to “MAKE SURE OF ALL THINGS” to make sure that what they were being taught was fully SCRIPTURALLY SUPPORTED.
Sorry for the caps. (there is no other way for emphasis)
Well, after I left the WT Society, I studied the trinity doctrine for around two years to see if there was enough Scriptural support for it. Well, I found that there wasn’t enough. When a person listens to WHAT JESUS TAUGHT and what his disciples TAUGHT, they did not teach a trinity concept of God.
I am NOW fully enjoying my Christian freedom. Not freedom to sin but the true freedom that is IN Christ.
“For ye are all children of God BY FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST. for as many of you as have been baptized INTO Christ, have put on Christ.”…..” And if ye be Christ’s then are ye Abraham’s seed, AND HEIRS according to the promise.” See Galations 3:26-29
“Now to Abraham AND his seed were the promises made. He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ.” Gal. 3:16
“For the promise that he should be HEIR OF THE WORLD was not to Abraham, or to his seed, through the Law, BUT THROUGH THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF FAITH.” Romans 4:13
“So, then, they who are of faith are BLESSED WITH faithful Abraham.” Gal. 3:9
“know ye therefore, that they who are of faith, the same are the sons of Abraham.” Gal. 3:7
“For what saith the Scripture? Abraham believed God, and IT WAS COUNTED UNTO HIM FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS.” Romans 4:3
We, as Jehovah’s Witnesses should have QUESTIONED:
Since Abraham was CONSIDERED RIGHTEOUS THROUGH HIS FAITH, then WHY DO THE “OTHER SHEEP” HAVE TO WAIT, until the end of the thousand years BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED RIGHTEOUS?
We used to warn people at the doors NOT TO PUT THEIR TRUST IN MEN. But we ourselves had been putting TOO MUCH TRUST in the Governing Body. (”Faithful Slave”) We had been “listening” to ALL that they taught, OVER all that Christ taught which was given to him by God.
Jeremiah 17:5-8 says that when a person puts more trust in men than in God, then they come under A CURSE. Now I truly believe it. We were so blind!
Christ said to love your enemies, do good to them, to bless them, and pray for them. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them. (See Luke 6:27-38)
But we as Jehovah’s Witnesses were taught to hate our enemies, and to shun them.
I don’t recall ANY TIME, when we ever heard an elder up at the podium ever give a prayer for those who leave the Organization. Why is that? Why are JW taught to hate and shun any whom they accuse as being “apostate”? Why is there very little effort among JW TO FIND and try to help those who leave? Why is there fear? What are they afraid of?
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and THE ONE WHO FEARS IS NOT PERFECTED IN LOVE.” 1 John 4:18
I am merely sharing SOME of what I have come to learn since leaving the JW Organization.
Oh, yes, Jesus said that he was sent ONLY TO FIND THE LOST SHEEP OF THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL. He instructed his disciples: Don’t go by way of the Samaritans but “Go only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel,” And it was AFTER his death and resurrection when he commanded his disciples : NOW GO to THE NATIONS, baptizing them, and teaching them TO DO, ALL THE THINGS I commanded YOU TO DO. This would include partaking of the bread and wine, for Jesus said “teaching them TO DO ALL “the things he commanded them to do.
When Jesus spoke to his JEWISH disciples, about the “other sheep” and that they would become ONE FOLD under one shepherd, he was speaking of none other than THE GENTILES who would later JOIN the flock of the believing Jews. So the way the “Faithful Slave” teaches concerning Christ’s “other sheep” is NOT Scripturally supported.
Anyway, sorry for such a long post. Just wanted to share my thoughts. If anyone would like to reach me: topsailor2001@yahoo.com
January 24th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
While I understand your story and the reasons you call yourself among the “consious class” your choice to remain associated is the very reason I left, I cannot understand people who can live a life of complete hyporcasy, I understand the repercussions are severe but at least I can live with myself knowing that I can be totally truthful with myself and others
January 26th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Olá! Quero agradecer aos desenvolvedores deste site, principalmente pela qualidade profissional com que está sendo produzido. Tenho uma sugestão: coloquem legendas nos vídeos para outros idiomas (mesmo uma tradução automática, com aviso, seria de grande valor). Grande abraço, e sucesso pela iniciativa!
… (please translation text for portuguese)
February 11th, 2010 at 5:59 am
Wow a mole in the organization? why am i not surprised there are people like you who
have nothing better than to tear down?
And yes I married my sister
March 14th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Wao….el miedo…la garra de la wt….tambien la vimos mi esposa y yo…luchamos…pero luego de tres a~nos…ya nos libramos de esa garra…LIBERATE!
March 15th, 2010 at 11:10 am
Great article, great website.
I had a similar experience a couple of years ago, except my husband hadn’t been raised JW and had joined up only a few years before and was only disappointed his whole time in the org, so when I came up with “I don’t think I want to be JW anymore” he had no problem with it. He told me later that he played it cool but inside he was doing a major happy dance!! He’d had doubts for a long time but out of respect for me was trudging along.
The experience of feeling bad for doing research on the internet, the whole apostate thing (I too found most people posting info on the internet to be very respectful and sympathetic, not bitter haters), and finally reading Ray Franz’s books, blew my mind.
I was raised ‘in the truth’, spent a lot of mental and emotional energy reconciling organizational weaknesses and failings with my love for God over the years. I did not look into anything ‘apostate’ until feeling completely abandoned by the org and spending a few years drifting into inactivity and discouragement. It was very hard on me to live in a spiritual no man’s land, to feel feel starved spiritually, and feel like any kind of looking into the matter would be betraying God.
I wish I had read Bro. Franz’s book, Crisis of Conscience, when it first was published, it would have saved me years of my life not wasted.
I remember when I ‘got it’ that this org was just a man-made folly like any other religion we were taught to think was ‘false’, it was shocking. I was numb and paralyzed for a day or two, not sad but so angry it was beyond words or sound or movement. I just had to sit and absorb it for awhile. I had to digest it, but once I did, I was ‘over’ it. Just happy to be released from prison. I don’t have bitterness, just compassion for those still stuck there.
It is like I used to say when I would rationalize things to stay faithful,”Once you know, you know.”
I’m very spiritual but just can’t stomach being religious anymore, and I feel very good about that. It is so peaceful and liberating to just be myself and not to constantly edit my every thought and feeling. I’m just me, and it is about d*mn time.
It is interesting to me that the God I worshipped all my life hasn’t changed, I’m just able to be myself and not feel like I’m failing all the time.
I’m remaking my life from scratch, and wondering where life will take us next.
April 2nd, 2010 at 6:45 am
Hello Kay,
I am intrigued by your story. Most of us who have discovered that JWdom is based upon lies and mind control, have left the organisation. SOme have found other Christian denominations. In the UK it seems that there are more of us who are skeptical of all organised relions.
What intrgues me, Kay, is how you can still consider yourself a JW. Do you mean this in a general, non WBTS sense? Do you believe in a God (with the arbitrary Mediaeval English name of Jehovah) and witness to your God’s works independently of the JW org? Or are you remaining within the JW org. in order that you can enlighten those still trapped within? Is your aim to transform the JWs into something totally different from the cruel mental dictatorship that it has always been. If you succeed then JWdom will be a completely different animal. Its totalitarian control, its cultish indoctrination has defined the outfit for oever a century.
Until I came across these ‘apostate’ websites I had wondered whether my anger at that foul old cult that oversahdowed my childhood with its Armageddom fears, was a little irrational. I was never baptised; I have not been near a Kingdom Hall for well over 45 years.
Jw doorknockers, JW mags; the slightest scent of that crackpot creed still causes rage to well up from within; hence my regular posts to ex JW sites.
If your aim is to weaken and transform that disgusting outfit, I applaud you whatever your methods.
Bye,
Rowland
April 8th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Listen,
I have a problem with the fact that JW elder and organization profess that the elders are “Guided By The Holy Spirit”.
An earthly organization that audaciously claims a monopoly over salvation must provide justification of a direct link with God. The Watchtower Society does this by claiming guidance by Holy Spirit.
The Watchtower specifically states that Holy Spirit directs it to interpret teachings and make decisions. The Watchtower claims to contain God’s opinions, not those of men.
However, numerous doctrinal changes promoted as truth that later were admitted as wrong. Many cannot be dismissed as “brighter light” as they were significant doctrines that were wrong and completely replaced. Though Jehovah’s Witnesses dismiss this, doctrinal changes do matter if a religion claims direction by Jehovah.
They do matter when a religion demands unquestioning obedience. They do particularly matter when related to life threatening medical decisions.
The Organization operates under the confusing concept of ‘Provisional Infallibility’. On the one hand, information contained in Watchtower is from God and accepted without question; on the other hand, the Watchtower admittedly contains significant mistakes.
The Governing Body makes strong claims that Holy Spirit guides it to interpret the Bible correctly and to appoint men. In total contradiction, the Governing Body says Holy Spirit does not direct the Organization to have infallible interpretation of scripture. Accuracy is no longer necessary for God! If Truth can morph in an ongoing manner, why the importance of following these leaders and not the leaders of another similarly unguided Organization? It is illogical to demand total obedience, claim its guidelines are to be followed as “the voice of God”, yet admit mistakes.
Presented as formula highlights the flaw in the Watchtower reasoning, the Watchtower contradicts itself when saying that God’s Holy Spirit directed its doctrines, yet they are not necessarily correct.
The assertion is that Holy Spirit directs the modern day Governing Body in the same way that it directed Jehovah’s Organization in the past. However, the Society claims not to be inspired or infallible.
It is a contradiction for the Governing Body to say that they are not inspired in one article but that Holy Spirit directs them in another. Read together the following two statements are discernibly contradictory.
“Jehovah God has made known to his anointed ones in advance what these scriptures mean.” Watchtower 1931 June 1 p.160
“Jehovah’s people confess no powers of inspiration today” Watchtower 1952 Apr. 15 p.253
The Bible states in very clear terms that the Holy Spirit directed the early Christians, so Jehovah’s Witnesses have to say that Holy Spirit likewise directs the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society in our day.
It is not wrong for the Governing Body to admit to not being inspired and having made errors – it is wrong to make such admission and then enforce strict adherence to their own direction by claiming they alone speak for Jehovah.
Russell claimed to be God’s mouthpiece, guided by the Lord. (Zion’s Watch Tower 1906 July 15 pp.230, 234)
This unusual sounding claim is not without precedence, as God spoke to his servants through angels in the past. Yet the question cannot escape, if angels gave teachings to Rutherford, why were so many wrong?
The Governing Body makes strong claims that Holy Spirit guides it to interpret the Bible correctly and to appoint men. In total contradiction, the Governing Body says Holy Spirit does not direct the Organization to have infallible interpretation of scripture. Accuracy is no longer necessary for God! If Truth can morph in an ongoing manner, why the importance of following these leaders and not the leaders of another similarly unguided Organization? It is illogical to demand total obedience, claim its guidelines are to be followed as “the voice of God”, yet admit mistakes.
Jehovah has always been able to provide infallible information, even though the humans used were fallible. When Holy Spirit directed Jehovah’s followers, the recorded statements have always been accurate. There is no room for erroneous teachings if an Organization makes the claim Jehovah directs it and is God’s only true path to truth and salvation. Holy Spirit does not direct an Organization that claims to be fallible.
Errors make it apparent Holy Spirit does not guide Watchtower doctrine any more so than it has in any other religion. Neither has Holy Spirit guided appointments.
April 19th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Kay, I am also a somewhat active JW,I have recently read “studies on the scriptures” all six volumes and I really recommend that all “CONCIOUS CLASS”
JW’s also read them ,I know some are quickly inclined to point out that brother Russell made mistakes but overall his Zeal for God was strong and in difference of our Governing body he acknowledged his mistakes
look at the July 15 watchtower online and read the fallacy tha the GB has published on the last article talking about that everything they publish is
given to them by the holy spirit and when the holy spirit commits an error, Oh I’m sorry the Holys pirit never commits an error ,no I mean when they interpret the holy sprit wrong,See thats better!!!,they publish the changes…
it’s time to take our blue pill like the matrix movie
April 19th, 2010 at 11:23 am
Mason Sharke ,
right on brother I agree with your comment 100%
may YAHWEH GOD bless you all
ps.YAHWEH is the true name
Jehovah was invented by the catholic church read the book
“let your name be sanctified”,or “insight on the scriptures” or the “divine name” booklet
also Jesus is pagan is an erroneous name inserted by apostates to mean ZEUS a pagan god tre real name is Yahshua Yah= Yahweh and Shua= salvation Joshua is a transliteration of Yahshua and is more correct than Jesus..
Like the society said” The truth shall set them free”
April 19th, 2010 at 11:23 am
Mason Sharke ,
right on brother I agree with your comment 100%
may YAHWEH GOD bless you all
ps.YAHWEH is the true name
Jehovah was invented by the catholic church read the book
“let your name be sanctified”,or “insight on the scriptures” or the “divine name” booklet
also Jesus is pagan is an erroneous name inserted by apostates to mean ZEUS a pagan god tre real name is Yahshua Yah= Yahweh and Shua= salvation Joshua is a transliteration of Yahshua and is more correct than Jesus..
Like the society said” The truth shall set them free”
April 19th, 2010 at 11:27 am
When Jesus spoke to his JEWISH disciples, about the “other sheep” and that they would become ONE FOLD under one shepherd, he was speaking of none other than THE GENTILES who would later JOIN the flock of the believing Jews. So the way the “Faithful Slave” teaches concerning Christ’s “other sheep” is NOT Scripturally supported
AMEN BROTHER I”M GLAD I”M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT BELIEVES THIS!!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU
April 19th, 2010 at 11:29 am
RUSSELL HATED “ALL” ORGANIZED RELIGIONS AND SAID WE ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO CALL OURSELVES ANY NAMES
READ “STUDIES ON THE SCRIPTURES” http://www.bibletoday.com
you can buy the set for $12.00/ USA dollar
it’s the best money any JW can ever spend!!! TRUST ME!!!
July 1st, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Hello Kay,
Good to hear your story. My wife & I have been JW’s for nearly 40 years. We have 8 wonderful children. 5 grandchildren. Six of our children are very much active. I was an elder for many years. Stepped down by choice. Could not in good conscience continue to dispense ‘koolaid’ to the friends from the podium. Currently serving as MS only to keep up good appearance. Both my wife & I are like you and your husband in having serious doubts about the organization. Currently we are flying below the radar, so to speak. Again, thank you for your story. It is reassuring to know that many are having the same well founded doubts toward the organization as we. Wish you well.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:00 pm
kay after reading your heartfelt story maybe there is hope for my family. Hopefully others may question the WT teaching..What effect will the change of
doctrine (what is a generation) have on the RF. The new light reveal the
possibility of growing old in this system. The paradise earth and never grow old
is a very inviting message the reason many became apart of the borg. It became
clear to you the real possibility of living out your adult life in this system.
Hopefully others may see the light.
July 2nd, 2010 at 10:13 am
Isn’t it amazing how nerve-wracked the whole Witness experience leaves you. The tentacles are amazingly difficult to unwrap from around you…and it is a process that takes time. But seriously, anything that causes so much tension and grief cannot possibly be right. If God is a “happy God” as we were indoctrinated with…then why does his alleged “true religion” cause so much misery? I have come to the conclusion that “true religion” is nothing more than an oxymoron.
July 6th, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Wonderful article! I was raised as a JW and left at 16. Basically, I was ready to leave home like my two older brothers already had to get out of the madness. My eldest brother was announced as a “disapproved associate” and shunned from the congregation at 16, even though he was NEVER baptized. I love that JW’s claim that the term “disapproved associate” never existed. Yeah, right, the memory is etched in my mind. And what did he do, you ask? He kissed a girl and wouldn’t “repent”! I laugh at the absurdity of it to this day. I’ve never seen such flagrant abuse of power. I have been through years of counseling from my own experiences, which constituted psychological abuse from the elder body. Once my oldest brother was “marked”, apparently, so were all of us younger kids.
To answer Marius, I believe you will get a variety of answers from former JW’s because the road to recovery can be quite long, even decades, from this “religion”. As is common with any exit from any cult, victims tend to have little trust in their own judgement after having been so completely bamboozled by their keepers. Seen in this light, it would be expected that many would follow the path out to an eventual Atheist. I am Agnostic, but by way of doing over a decade and a half of in depth religious studies. I do not entirely doubt the existence of a God, but having put the Bible in true historical context, I take it as the understandings of little more than Bronze Age men in their quest for personal signifigance, as would be expected of this time period. I do not find anything mystical or miraculous within the Scriptures when always balanced by peer reviewed research. However, I have found my greatest spiritual connection to the universe by remaining open to the infinite possibilities. Being in the always humble state of “without knowledge” allows me the greatest freedom to explore every avenue, without prejudice, without malice and without the presumption of an answer. I have been set free, truly, by JW’s because without their presumption, arrogance and self righteousness, I would never have begun such a spiritual journey that, I hope, lasts at least as long as my lifetime. I am totally able to separate the organization from the religion, which allows me to differentiate theological problems from organizational ones. The JW’s have some serious theological problems, and always have had over the years, but the 1914 was a real whopper, as is their heavy usage of the book of Revelations for the Paradise. On an organizational level, they have always been plagued by power hungry men, perhaps that had little power in their secular world (just reasonable speculating), but nonetheless have taken whole congregations hostage with tyranny, competition, and other negative management styles. Children have suffered the most, which I feel is made evident by the 2007 Pew Forum Research statisitcs. In all the religions polled, JW’s have the worst retention of children. I believe it was only 37% remained as JW’s, which is dismally low.
OK, so I could write a book! LOL, sorry about that!
July 12th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Today is July 12, 2010 and July 11, 1975 I was baptized as a Jehovah’s Witness, so that was what 33 years ago? Hmmm-Armageddon was due to come the Fall of 1975. I was 14 years old and we were told that if we were of age of accountability – 12 and up – we were gonna be destroyed if we were not baptized! I did not finish public school but homeschooled myself and had to give up my desire to be a doctor. I was very smart in school and had offers of full med school scholarships if I would stay in school. The WTS frowned on college but by age 16 I was married. Let’s see – bad to go to college but ok to get married that young! How stupid is that? I had 2 kids by age 20 and was divorced by age 23. In fact, almost all the young couples I knew that were married got divorced, too. But in the 1970’s we were so sure the END was right on top of us, so the Society said. My Dad was an Elder all my life until he was asked to step down after he got swindled by the “brothers” and was told he didn’t use a sound mind by trusting his spiritual brothers and investing ALL the money he and several others had into a fraudulent scheme being run by some of the ones he trusted most. He was DEAD soon thereafter, dying on his death certificate because of a CVA or Stroke – but we knew it was brought on by a broken heart. He gave his life in service to the Watchtower Society all his life. They used him at all the Assemblies/Conventions to run the Auditing Departments for Memphis, TN area and MS and AR. His name was Aubrey Guy and my Mom was Darmalene Guy. My brother still lives in Southaven, MS and has been DF for years and considered an Apostate and his name is Greg Guy and I think everyone in MS and TN knows him. I used to be ashamed of him, but no more. I am proud of my little brother because he wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he truly believed in. I was the hypocrit. I stayed in “the truth” until mom died in 2006 on Mothers Day. Then shortly thereafter, I moved across the country. I was judged by what people wrote on FB about me and my “spiritual parents” called me up and accused me of apostasy because of something on FB that had been written while I was recovering from a fall where I had broke both arms and shoulders and had not even been on the computer in months. But they called me and told me I needed to take care of my PROBLEM – THE ONE I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT! AND not to ever call them again because I was an APOSTATE! SO GUESS WHAT? I have left that organization and started researching the WBTS and NOW I do know the REAL TRUTH! THEY ARE LIARS!! They are the Wild Beast! All the things I had thought but always been afraid to mention – fear of losing my family and friends from being DF – turned out to be TRUE! My GUT feeling was right on target. I am not saying I hate everyone who I have known ALL my 49 years of life as a Witness, I truly feel sorry for them and miss them terribly. I am truly depressed and lonely because I never had any friends outside the WTS. I never celebrated anything in my life but I researched all the PAGANISMS that the WTS participates in; only we never knew what those were because we were always right and better than everyone else. We were IN the TRUTH! WHAT A FOOL I WAS TO ALLOW MYSELF TO BE BRAINWASHED, BUT I WAS BORN INTO IT THRU MY FOLKS. I have witnessed so much hypocrisy and lies and I have suffered untold amounts of emotional, mental and spiritual abuse. I was reproved for my own rape by a close relative of my husband. I used to be Debbie BLANKENSHIP. SICKO PERV in that family! SUE ME – I don’t have a dime to my name!! And I should have put that lowlife man in prison YEARS ago. I find it so unfair that my folks have died and my ex’s folks are still alive/so not fair. My folks were such good people and helped so many and Billy’s folks – I loved his Mom, but his Dad was I cannot even say what I know about him. I was sincere in my beliefs and I did think it was the truth for a long time, but I am away from it and I live 1000 miles away from there. My daughter hates JWs because of how she was treated growing up and I don’t blame her. My son is alive despite what he has been through. I am alive, but that’s about all. I am miserable and broke and depressed most of the time. I am mad as hell as the WTS who, by the way, do not claim to be guided by the Holy Spirit. They say that only the ones who wrote the Bible were guided by Holy Spirit. Did yall know that because I always heard different, but they admit they are not guided by Holy Spirit. They just write what they want to and they VOTE on things for the JWs Democratically!!! NEWS TO ME, TOO! They go with what the majority wants to write whether they (Governing Body) agree or not. It’s a toss up literally as to what gets printed in the literature. How much sense does that make when people are living their lives on what THEY SAY FROM HQ of JWs? If everyone only knew!! But so many are afraid to question anything because of fear of being kicked out! Being branded as disfellowshipped or APostate is a JW’s worst nightmare. Oh and one more thing, 5 men on the Governing Body wrote the New World Translation and none of them knew Greek or Hebrew!! How can someone translate a book THAT important if they do not even know the language?? RIGHT, THEY CANNOT! SO, HOW TRUE IS THE NEW WORLD TRANSLATION BE ACCURATELY WRITTEN? IT CAN’T BE! To me, my life has been a lie. I question everything I ever thought was true. My parents are gone and I don’t have them to ask anything about but my Mom said before her death that if the Society asked all JWs to drink Kool-Aid with cyanide, she would. That’s screwed up by anybody’s standards. I am sad now because I do not know what I really believe anymore and I feel like me and my kids were cheated out of so much. Their dad never had anything to do with them after we divorced but I would NEVER have let my kids around his father. Better that we were divorced then but my kids suffered from not having a father. My Dad tried to be there for them but he was gone too soon for all of us. He was only 60 and mom was 65 when they each died 5 years apart. I also am just totally heartbroken that I have lost so much because of this religious CULT! AND I am MAD as HELL about it also. Excuse the language, but I never cussed before this and I am sick of trying to be good always. I served God from fear more than love as a JW. Now I worship out of love and I am closer to Jesus now also. I have learned there are a lot of great people out in the WORLD! And I NEVER could understand WHY a lovong God would Kill people infact, all people, who were not JWs! People are what they are much because of where they were born and nobody has control over that! I ALWAYS questioned that teaching! I have PTSD from the things that happened to me as a Witness. I am also sick. I have lupus, diabetes, have had 3 strokes and kidney cancer, multiple back problems and surgeries and the list just gets longer. I have 3 granddaughters and I don’t get to see them much because my daughter holds so much against me from raising her as a JW. She left at a young age. I write to cope with all my stress and depression. I have a good man who is Catholic after 2 loser husbands that were JWs. If you are reading this and still going to the Kingdom Hall, do yourself a favor and do your own RESEARCH and THINK FOR YOURSELF, INDEPENDENT THINKING is not a sin – how else are you gonna test God out for yourself like the REAL BIBLE says to do. And remember a scripture we all have heard thousands of times – GET OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SHARE IN HER FATE! THINK ABOUT IT – MAYBE IT SHOULD BE APPLIED NOW AND TO YOU WHO THINK YOU HAVE THE TRUE RELIGION! Am I DF’D? IDK cos IDCare! I do have 2 wonderful dogs that love me no matter what. They are Rowdy and Oreo. They don’t judge me and they love me unconditionally. And by the way, going into a church does not mean the walls will fall in on top of you! And there ARE good people who love God and Jesus and their families as much as JWs do, only they don’t turn their back on them if they change their religion and act like they are the Devil himself. Why am I writing this? Not sure, but it seems to help me cope because I meet others like me and I don’t feel so alone. It is hard to change your entire life at this age, but I will never go back and I do not regret leaving. I just wish I had done it sooner. By Debbie Guy (Blankenship) Moore
July 12th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Wanted to add that you can reach me at ladyjeanene@yahoo.com if you wish to write me. If you want to witness to me or try to change my mind about my feelings towards JWs – DO NOT EVEN GO THERE WITH ME> I’ve had a lifetime of it and I am done. If you need encouragement about leaving, I can help with that or if you need a friend who is a Christian and understands depression, I can help with that, too. That’s all!
July 13th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
I hear that many of you (as well as the author) still stay in the cult (yes, it is a cult). Why don’t you leave for good? I have and I have absolutely no regrets.
July 16th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Hello Debbie. I just read your blog. You have a lot of anger in you yet towards the JW’s but you let off a lot of steam with that letter. Good for you! I also was born into the religion and spent the first twenty five years of my life in it. I have horror stories of experiences in school from being one of them. They keep changing the rules of what is right and wrong. It took me many years to get over the worst of the anger. Hang in there it will come. We can’t change our past only our future. I have a daughter that was born in the religion but by the time she was school age we were free and she did not have to suffer like we did.
It sounds like you have a good man, and animals that accept you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. The anger will leave as you learn to live your own life. If you need to write and just vent you can write me at ll2hunter@hotmail.com My mother-in-law and I vent about the WT to each other every so often by e-mail. I send her articles that I find interesting and we discuss them. You are not alone. There are lots of us out there. My family are all JW’s except for my husband, daughter, nephew and mother and sister-in-law. My mother is one but she lets us visit.
All the best!
July 17th, 2010 at 9:25 am
After I graduated from high school in 1973 I started having a desire to know about God and started attending different churches. I knew nothing at all about the Bible so when a co-worker who was a Jehovah’s Witness started showing me things from the Bible – I was elated. Now I look back on it and realize that I was completely misled. And like many – I believed that whatever the Society was teaching us had to be truth. They certainly wouldn’t lie to us right? I started to experience doubts and with those doubts came extreme guilt and shame. Long story short – I was a baptized Witness for 25 years – more than 1/2 of that time as a Regular Pioneer. All my friends were Witnesses while none of my family were, so you know that meant that I had very limited only necessary contact with my family and the only people I associated with were the Witnesses. I knew I had to leave and I knew I would lose all my friends and I was so okay with that. I wrote my letter to the Elders and quite literally drove away with a huge sense of relief. The Witnesses don’t let you leave easily though and so for years I had people phoning/writing/visiting me. I continued to write letters to the Elders – I had by then started looking at other churches in the hope that someday I would have a truly joyful, authenitic relationship with God. While the knowledge that I had to leave this organization was very clear to me, the possibility of putting aside 25 years of teachings was not so easy. I had to try and figure out what I felt God was really saying to me and if that meant believing any of the WBTS teachings did that mean I had really left the true organiztion? It’s been over 9 nine years now and I am not going to say it’s always been easy. So now I find myself back where I started years ago – with the same questions I had as a teenager. I will continue my journey because I do believe that God made us to be happy and joyful.